Darcy Milligan

 I remember the first time the word “abuse” entered by head as a word I could use. It was a scary night. The toilet in my dorm’s bathroom hosted a shivering, dry-heaving version of myself. I eventually fell asleep, cold sweating, with Simba (my stuffed lion) pulled to my chest. I had also realized that Simba, who’s been with me since I was three, was also There, in That Goddamn Bedroom in Allston, and fully witnessed the relationship that removed me from myself. That night was in late November of 2021. 

I created this album not to spit on my ex, but to create a safe space for my anger while I processed my trauma. Consequently, this album acts as a timeline of my thoughts from the end of the relationship and through the months following -- the songs are in order as they were written. 

I sincerely hope that in a world of sucking-it-up-and-living-with-it, you can find validation for your anger in this as well. It is a misconceived emotion. Healthily experiencing anger is a great thing, within reason.

I could not thank my support system enough. Thank you to the band for never wincing at this music flying at you; thank you to Thomas Briggs for piecing it all together and casing it in SUCH a bow; thank you to my friends and family for being my rock in all of this; and thank you, especially, to Mx. Kris McCarthy – this would not be as flammable of a storm without you, and I am so grateful that it is. So, without further ado, everyone meet Tar Queen; Tar Queen, everybody. 

Click here for a Spotify playlist of songs that inspired the sounds of Tar Queen. 

I created this monster alongside Kris McCarthy, who was not only a crucial person that helped me process in a healthy way, but also has a lot of skill and knowledge in visual arts. We sat down together in the garage of my house and he watched as I nested in the 'Tar Queen Mental State' in about two hours' time. We then punched a head-sized hole in it and stuck my stuffed lion through it. My stuffed lion, Simba, played an interesting role in the album's meaning: he has been with me throughout not only that relationship, but also throughout all of the memories described in "Pictures of You".